Some Assembly Required
by Fortex
Summary: Because Cameron is torn between two men...even if they are the same person. Her love of John versus her loyalty to his future self. John/Cameron


Title: The Making of a Savior

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own anything related to the Terminator franchise. I stand to make no financial gains from this work.

Author's Notes: Umm… I'm sorry. I honestly really like the characters of John and Cameron and enjoy reading about them, especially together. Any feedback (positive or negative) would be greatly appreciated. I really want to improve my writing style.

Style Notes:

_Italic Text, (Set apart like so)_ – is a quote that took place before the time of the piece.

But _italics_ in the middle of a line are for emphasis.

* * *

Despite all outward appearances, Cameron Phillips is not human. She is in fact one of the most advanced infiltration units ever produced by Skynet. While lacking the destructive capabilities of a TX model, her knowledge of human social behavior is more extensive.

True, the nuances of human behavior often confuse or escape her entirely, particularly in the pre-Judgment Day era. However, that it not to say that her powers of observation are lacking. In any moment she is more aware of the actions taking place around her than any human could hope to be.

More impressive still, is her memory. Everything that she has ever seen or heard, everything that she ever been witness to, has been saved with unerring accuracy. In the years or decades that follow she could effectively relive any event in her past.

Her memory is perfect.

It is not surprising that most of her memories revolve around her primary mission, John.

She remembers the moment she located him in New Mexico after 73 days of searching. Every detail, from the clothes he wore to the sound of his voice has been preserved.

And she could state, to the minute, how much time has passed since they jumped forward in time.

She knows that 1 year 7 months and 12 days have passed since John first kissed her. Having suffered minor damage, he had been applying bandages to cover the most obvious injuries.

_You really scared me back there._

It was two days before he could look her in the face again.

She remembers that one week later she first kissed _him_.

_I now understand this affection._

She remembers the look of surprise and then almost shy hope that played across his face.

She can recall every step in the growth of their relationship. And their relationship had not grown quickly. Time had to be taken to explore their feelings, her feelings more than his. But John had been infinitely patient, willing to answer all of her questions. He never wanted her to mimic human behavior just to please him.

_I don't care about your best imitation of a human. I want you to be you._

She can account for every second of their relationship. Every moment: the first time he said he loved her, the first night she guarded him from his nightmares, and the first time they engaged in sexual intercourse, is locked within her.

And with absolute clarity, she remembers the moment she broke his heart.

She remembers scouting the location. The target would be a random passerby with no traceable connection to the Connors. Her priorities changed slightly upon seeing a teenage girl with long blonde hair. The target's resemblance to Jordan Cowen would further serve her mission.

She remembers lying to him, luring him to the site and explaining, in detail, what she intended.

His confusion and disbelief were expected.

His unwavering faith in her was the problem.

Knowing any attempt to order her was useless; he had pleaded with her.

_Cam…please, you don't want to do this. _

_I do not want. It is not part of my programming._

He could not physically stop her. Any interference would only delay the inevitable.

_If not this person, then another_…_ I must carry out my orders._

Orders given to her by his future self…

_Orders!? Why?_

Because he loved her just as his future self had planned, had hoped, had intended.

John had always viewed machines as having the potential to be truly alive. If he saw one machine as being alive, if he loved it, loved _her_… Would he see an army of machines as their own race?

_Answer me! Why are you doing this?_

Because it would make him cold. It would harden him; make him strong enough to lead humanity in a war of genocide.

And they would love him for it.

_I am a machine. _

If she closes her eyes she can bring forth the visual record of his heart breaking.

_Was everything a lie?_

_My primary mission is to protect you from harm. To that end it is within my ability to lie._

And she has lied to him. She can want. More than anything, she wants to protect him. Yet, despite knowing that he was hurting, that _she_ was hurting him, her orders were clear.

_About important things._

If you asked her, she could tell you that 4 months and 9 days have passed since she killed a complete stranger that posed no threat to his safety.

In the time she has spent with the Connors her understanding of humans has grown significantly. Ironically, John is the most responsible. She understands the pain he now suffers and the sheer cunning of his future self.

She knows there is nothing she can do to help him. Should she tell him, truthfully, that she loves him…That had she not been shackled by her programming, bound by his future self, she would never have hurt him. He would not believe her. In the end, it would only hurt him further.

It wasn't enough that his heart be broken. Some of the pieces had to be lost.

In terms of strategy, there is no denying that John will be brilliant.

Since that day he has never expressed any concern over her injuries beyond functionality.

He has never since acknowledged her presence as anything other than a burden.

She is not oblivious to the changes in his behavior nor is she unaffected by it.

Each time he slights her, each time he speaks in front of her instead of to her, pains her.

She knows he will never look at her the same way. That in his mind she is a machine, a tool.

He no longer believes there is anything in her worth caring for.

While Derek, Sarah, and now even John would never give her credit for it. She understands precisely what she has lost.

And she cannot forget.

_Get away from me, metal._

Her memory is perfect.


End file.
